{"id":859,"date":"2018-10-29T15:15:30","date_gmt":"2018-10-29T15:15:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/?p=859"},"modified":"2026-08-19T06:35:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-19T06:35:43","slug":"north-country-2018-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/?p=859","title":{"rendered":"NORTH COUNTRY 2018. 11"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not exactly sure where I got to – but I think it was Sunday (well, it WAS Sunday yesterday, anyway).\u00a0 Clearly there are no Sunday trading restrictions in Newcastle.\u00a0 The place was largely open – all day.\u00a0 The only plus was that on-street parking was free in some places within 15 minutes walk of the university.\u00a0 A walk-through behind the Armstrong Building…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

… where a lot of my studies were completed, led to the “tunnel of doom” – “disaster archway” – the “dreaded passageway”.\u00a0 In there was where all exam results were posted!\u00a0 I found that the “noticeboard of despondency” had been removed – probably years ago.\u00a0 \u00a0I bet it’s all electronic despair these days.\u00a0 “Gmail Gloom” or “WhatsApp Worry”!<\/p>\n

I was unable to try out my life-time membership of the Students Union because the whole place was locked up tight.\u00a0 I hadn’t realised that the students were so respectful of the Sabbath.\u00a0 Actually, I suspect the whole place is in mourning for the recent, sad loss of an agricultural student in some daft, drink-fuelled initiation ceremony.\u00a0 The “Agrics” were always known for their excesses – in everything but excessive learning.<\/p>\n

A long time was spent in Eldon Square shopping centre.\u00a0 I met a lady, Maltese Mathilda, while waiting for Glenda in a public seating area.\u00a0 If Mad Mary is mad\u00a0 – Mathilda is absolutely maniacal.\u00a0 I’m not certain where she had escaped from, but she certainly needed to check back in!\u00a0 \u00a0We had only known each other a minute before she got out her astrology book and started to tell my fortune.\u00a0 According to MMM her marriage had failed because her husband had been a Capricorn and she was a Cancer.\u00a0 Apparently incompatible.\u00a0 Personally, I’d say Mr MMM had bailed out for more tangible reasons.\u00a0 You do meet some characters while out and about!<\/p>\n

Obviously, on Monday we had to repeat the shopping procedure.\u00a0 I looked for Maniacal Maltese Mathilda but she and her book of star signs was nowhere to be seen.\u00a0 So, boringly, it was Christmas trees and flight socks to look for.<\/p>\n

However, first I had to lose the car.\u00a0 Or at least park it somewhere.\u00a0 I headed for the “Biscuit Factory” – now an art gallery on the East side of town.\u00a0 Plenty of parking but only for two hours.\u00a0 Eventually I found an excellent spot just over Byker Bridge.\u00a0 There was an inviting footpath which led down into the wooded valley through which ran the Ouseburn.\u00a0 And under the bridges I found a flock of sheep!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A small flock to be sure but a flock nonetheless.\u00a0 I think four is a flock… and within a mile of the city centre.\u00a0 Amazing.\u00a0 And there were two pigs and a load of ducks as well.\u00a0 The Ouseburn is a tiny tidal stream which drains into the River Tyne at the Tyne Bar (which is in fact a pub!)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The lowest fording point…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

… and a solar-powered paddle boat???<\/p>\n

Where the burn reaches the Tyne there is a bike-shop-cum-cafe.\u00a0 Just what was needed – a loo, that is!\u00a0 I felt a bit out of place amongst all these fit people in lycra and luminescent yellow vests.\u00a0 But I can drink coffee with olympic cyclists if necessary.\u00a0 Not to mention eating flapjack.\u00a0 Best not to, actually – one member of our family was blissfully unaware of comestible consumption on the quayside.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

There is a huge notice on the South bank which says “Go with the flow, swim against the tide!”\u00a0 That’s the Baltic Centre for you.\u00a0 Last time we were there we thought the building was magnificent but the modern artwork inside much less so.<\/p>\n

Having stayed at Lindon Hall, I was keen to visit the Bigg Market.\u00a0 The hall had been built by (or at least, for) a Charles Bigge in 1812.\u00a0 He was a banker and merchant and rumour had it that the Bigg Market was named in his honour.<\/p>\n

However, it appears that the\u00a0Bigg Market\u00a0is a site of historical significance in Newcastle\u00a0and dates back to the Middle Ages, when it was the site of a thriving market-place that formed an important part of the Great North Road. The market was named after a type of coarse barley, known as Bigg Barley, that was widely sold from the stalls.\u00a0 Sorry Charles!<\/p>\n

I thought we might have a different joke today (Having mistakenly told you the same one twice!).\u00a0 Did anyone notice – or remember the punch-line?\u00a0 This one is seasonally appropriate.<\/p>\n

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, \u201cI hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.\u00a0 Forty-five years of misery is enough.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPop, what are you talking about?\u201d the son screams.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t stand the sight of each other any longer,\u201d the old man says \u201cWe’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,\u201d and he hangs up. <\/em><\/p>\n

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. \u201cLike hell they’re getting divorced,\u201d she shouts, \u201cI’ll take care of this.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, \u201cYou are NOT getting divorced. Don\u2019t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don\u2019t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?\u201d and hangs up.<\/em><\/p>\n

The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. \u201cOkay,\u201d he says, \u201cthey’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not exactly sure where I got to – but I think it was Sunday (well, it WAS Sunday yesterday, anyway).\u00a0 Clearly there are no Sunday trading restrictions in Newcastle.\u00a0 The place was largely open – all day.\u00a0 The only… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-north-country-2018"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=859"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8129,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions\/8129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappstravels.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}