Monday 4th February.
Well, well. I guess we might have come as far as we can by boat. This morning we got completely stuck again. We had taken a short cut to pass a couple of barges. The captain used his propellers to wash a bit of deeper water.
Eventually we had to turn round and find our way across the river to the channel that the barges had navigated 30 minutes earlier. Our only consolation was that another cruise ship that had tried to overtake us while were aground really got stuck beside us!
So plan B (8.30 departure from our next dock) rapidly became plan C (9.30) and then D (10.00). We now have a 47 mile ride to Mandalay on a bumpy motorway with non-elaborate road marking. In fact, there were no white lines at all. As we left town we got weighed (1.98 tonnes – I don’t think – 19.8 tonnes? Just goes to show how good the food is on board!). Anyway the toll was 2,200 kt, about £1.20. Repeated 3 times on the way. Our weight was recorded as 15800 later? Are we talking pounds here?
OK, so not a bumpy motorway at all – just a bumpy road!
Arriving in Mandalay we crossed our river and saw the original bridge. The speed limit was marked as 48 kph. Original! I guess that’s 30 mph in metric! Why not make it 50 – or 150 come to that? Anything over about 13 kph is more or less impossible.
The poem – “The Road to Mandalay” was played to us as we arrived. All very atmospheric. Took our minds off the terribly poor accommodations along the embankment road into the city. Apparently, Rudyard never actually visited Mandalay. So his references to flying fish make a little more sense. Perhaps he thought Mandalay was on the coast somewhere!
First stop was at a temple. Surprise, surprise! Miles of stalls inside the buildings selling all manner of “stuff”. Glenda in full “no shoes or socks” mode
… and with Jahn discussing the men only policy at the Gold Buddha. The equivalent of £1 gets 5 sheets of gold leaf. Very difficult to handle. The low down, easily reached, section of the buddha is heavily “leafed” – less so at 20 feet up!
It had to be done – so I queued with Bruce, paid my 2000 kt, then queued again to get in round the back of the statue.
We added to the thickness of gold on the low down bit on his left knee, (I couldn’t reach his face!).
Then lunch at the Hilton Hotel. Nothing special there. We’ve got so used to the boat’s magnificent food! Diced with death to cross the road to get a picture of the palace and moat with Mandalay Hill in the backgound. The monastery at the top of the hill can be reached by steps – 1792 of them. Bare-foot, no doubt! Or you could drive up!
The palace is a square with 2 km sides and is surrounded by an eight foot deep moat with alligators.
Apparently the king (or at least one of them) had 76 wives. He built a palace with 124 chambers. One each for the wives and a few extra for himself! On the way back across the main road I waited about 20 minutes for a green man to show himself – but I think he’s on holiday today. So diced with death a second time. (I made up the bit about alligators by the way!)
After that excitement we were taken to Kuthodaw Pagoda see the world’s largest book. It’s carved onto 729 sheets of marble – double sided! It was the brain-child of King Mindon and completed in 1868.
What a pain if the carver made a spelling mistake on line 100 (the bottom line) of the second side! Each “page” is six inches thick and some four foot tall. The theoretical “book” would be the height of a 30 storey building. Even native Myanmar speakers can’t really understand much of the language. But anyway it transpires that we had started reading on page 1458. So we know vaguely how the book ends, but we don’t know much else! More shoes off and on.
Graduates and brides-to-be like having photo-shoots in the place…
Next stop was – oh no! Another perishing pagodary thing. Actually, a royal house. The Shwenandaw Monastery. Another chance to walk on grotty floors – this time teak again. And no ladies were allowed in the inner part of the front room where the king kept his Buddha. Apparently everything in the place used to be covered in gold. Even his mattress was woven with golf threads. The king employed a marksman with bow and arrows to sit on top of the roof. His job was to shoot birds that had the temerity to sing while the boss was asleep.
This is another photo location…
At last, we end up in the gold leaf producing quarter. A great deal of effort goes into producing this stuff! Machines roll out a thin strip of gold. This is cut into small sections, sandwiched between layers of bamboo paper (the manufacture of which is an art-form in it’s own right!) and then ten bells of eight are beaten it of it – for hours – seven at least!
The lads with the sledge hammers time themselves with an intricate device consisting of a half coconut shell with a small hole drilled in the bottom. This is floated in a bucket of water and takes approximately exactly 30 minutes to sink. After all this, the leaves are separated from the paper layers and cut to size.
We were then driven through the stone carving quarter. Here artisans expose themselves to an extremely dust-rich atmosphere for 10 or more hours a day. I hate to think what their life expectancy is.
On to the Thein Nyo Silk Weaving workshop. Where more skilled ladies spend their days producing fine silk fabrics for just $US 3 a day. Ironically, the boss parks his two luxury Japanese limos in the weaving shed right in front of the looms.
After another tedious, bouncy, horn-tooting ride back to the ship, we had a display of traditional dancing from a Mandalay dance school. It seemed to have a lot of similarities with the dancing we saw in Camboda.
Next morning we suffered a repeat of the “Road to Mandalay”. The only notable event this morning was the coach driver driving into the toll barrier as it was coming down. However, that’s for another episode!
But before we go…
A short gun story…
A guy walks into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol and yelled “I’ve got a 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine and one in the chamber! I want to know who’s been sleeping with my wife!”
A voice called out from the back of the room…
“You’re going to need more ammo!”
Episode 12 received and read in mild Spring-like Chieveley at 0900 on Wednesday 13th Feb. Keep up the good work.