Tapp's Travels

After leaving Glasgow, we called at Wallthwaite to pick up the caravan and drove on to Messuage Farm in Cheshire.  Quite a day!  We’ve stayed here before and know that the area to the southwest of Siddington is a maze of tiny lanes.  We are advised to take a route starting from Congleton in the south and disregard the sat nav.  But we are coming from the north.  There are no instructions from that direction and it’s getting late.  We decide to live dangerously and work out our own route based on fading memories from two years ago.  All went well until half a mile from target.  We turned into Messuage Lane to meet a car coming the other way.  She refused to go back so we had to reverse round a blind corner onto what turned out to be quite a busy road.  Eventually we made it – but the obstinate woman didn’t even say thank you!  Two minutes later we were at the farm working out where to park.  We had about an hour before dark.

Knutsford is a very genteel sort of place.  The main street through town (King Street) is narrow and home to a range of independent stores as well as many restaurants and bars.

There are also interesting, cobbled side alleys …

… including one which led uphill to the local Heritage Centre and Museum …

… then back down to a well-hidden Courtyard Coffee House – ideal for a late lunch.  I called in to check on serving times and told the manager that we would come back to eat before they closed.  When we did eventually pitch up, the place was jam-packed.  Bursting at the seams.  But when the manager saw us, she said “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to ACTUALLY return – but I do have one table for four.  It’s yours!”  We can highly recommend the place – if you can find it!

The cars in Wilmslow had had a high proportion of expensive, noisy, performance cars with Maseratis, Lamborghinis, Aston Martins and Bentley SUVs blasting up and down through town (or casually parked on pavements and double yellow lines – to hell with the penalty fines!).  In Knutsford, there was a preponderance of voluminous, electric cars.  Quiet and stately, but probably equally expensive!  I’m sure the occasional Ferrari slips into town un-noticed but, overall, the contrast was quite apparent.

I made a brief visit to Tatton Park where I had seen a number of rutting red deer stags last year.  This time, sadly, I didn’t really get far into deer territory.  The planes launching at four minute intervals from Manchester Airport were all making a steep banking turn to starboard over the park.  Clearly the folk of Knutsford have banned over-flying planes.  They like a “quiet, electric-car-sort-of-peacefulness”.  And every single plane obliges.  I guess it’s an air traffic control thing.  The good people of Knutsford have obviously knobbled the chief air traffic controller at the airport!  Looking at “Knutsford” and “knobbled” reminded me of Michael McIntyre’s “Silent Letter Day” sketch.  If you haven’t seen it, I can thoroughly recommend it.  Google it on YouTube.  It’s a great deal funnier than my blog!  But then he is a real comedian!

Dawn on our last day before heading further south.

Glenda spent ages looking for a suitable site close to the motorway about half way home.  She looked at more than 30 places – and rejected them all.  Too noisy, too grassy, too expensive, not enough electricity …

In the end I decided to detour into the southern part of the Cotswolds near Malmesbury.  To New Barn Farm.

We’ve been there twice before.  Good hardstanding with fully serviced pitches so we can plumb directly into the water and drains.  But it’s far enough off route to warrant staying a few days.

Friends from Painswick, Mike and Margaret, booked the Close Hotel in Tetbury for lunch.  But first, it’s coffees in one of our favourite cafés.  The exuberantly named, Blue Zuchini.  It’s also exuberantly decorated with an eclectic mix of weird wallpapers, cartoon pictures and decorative objets d’art.  Sadly, their prices have also increased exuberantly AND they charged us £1.80 + service for a jug of hot water.  That move was immediately countered by taking off the service charge!  One all!

When we arrived at the Close Hotel, just round the corner, it looked more like the “Closed Hotel” …

But the lunch was really good (once we worked out how to break in!)

Next day, it was Cirencester.  Barry and Sybil had booked Keith’s coffee bar and Côte restaurant.  Much to their disgust (and Glenda’s) we paid to park – the first time this trip!  They had done a “John and Glenda” and found street parking with a need to re-park in Waitrose car park (free for two hours) after three hours on the streets.

Cirencester cathedral is actually not a proper cathedral, just a HUGE parish church!  The Saint John Baptist church.  And about half way up the tower you can see that there’s a dark coloured statue nestled in a small nook.

There’s a story here!  This is the relatively recently reinstalled replacement replica bronze statue of St John.  The original, 15th Century bronze castings of St John and the Virgin Mary had not been seen since they were moved from the church “for safety reasons” – and then vanished!  The statue of John the Baptist had been known as “Black Jack” because it had become darkened by soot and fumes over time.

In 2021, two new statues were installed, 58 years after the originals went missing!  Project “Black Jack”!

As we left Cirencester, there were two cars wedged under one of the road signs at the “Waitrose roundabout”.  They were both on the grass verge facing in opposite directions beside our exit of choice.  Absolutely no idea how they could have got there!  Blue flashing lights were about to block our exit – except they were too slow!  We were out of there!  There seem to be so many more road traffic accidents these days.  Or are we getting a coincidental, distorted view of the problem?

Tomorrow is Friday, the M4 motorway (the bit we need to get home on) will be shut from late afternoon.  For the whole weekend!  A new bridge is being installed near Bristol.  Not only that, but after mid-morning there are gale force winds expected in the southwest!  Not a good recipe for towing caravans.  So, alarms were set for a time that I was only slightly aware actually existed!  Preparations to depart were made by candle-light.  Well by torch-light, anyway.  Complicated by the first heavy frost of the trip which covered the windscreen, but we were moving as the first minute glimmer of light showed in the east.  We arrived home in time for a late breakfast and an early coffee!  Not an accident in sight!

However… however!!!  The traffic monitoring site, Inrix, reported that on Friday (October 24): “Slow traffic due to accident on M5 Southbound at J17 A4018 (Cribbs Causeway).  Maps showed traffic queueing for around six miles as a result.  It is not yet known how many vehicles are involved or whether any injuries have been reported.  But a caravan was seen leaving the scene early that morning” …  We just snuck through!

Well, that’s that!  62 nights away (3 in a hotel).  2332 miles driven of which 1083 were towing.  9 different sites visited.  23 friends and relations met.  And 6 traffic accidents “witnessed”.  Just another typical Tapp touring trip, really!